Random Moments and Tender Mercies

I am behind in documenting good things that have happened lately. I've kept a running list as to not forget. . . . so this post is a quick summary of those things. Beware, it is a little boring and more for us to remember these things--so feel free to skip to a better post--like the one I wrote last week.

Babysitting Mr. Squeakers. We got to care for Josie's first-grade class pet for a long weekend. We had a great time with Mr. Squeakers, except when it bit Joshua. Josie and Joshie were playing with the guinea pig in the kitchen and I heard Joshua crying, announcing on his way down the hall, "Mr. Squeakers bit me!" It didn't break the skin. Other than that, it was a great way to have fun with a pet, without the commitment of "real" responsibility. Aside: I can't believe how big Josie is getting (in this picture). She is turning into a lovely young lady. In one of the stories Eric has made up for the children, Josie is called Josie the Graceful and the True. And she really is.

Dicken Woods Walk. Josie has been talking up this event for weeks. Her art teacher organized this annual woods walk where the children make lanterns, light up the woods and the school gets to have a night walk. It was very special and really magical, and once again, I fell in love with her school all over again. We did, however, manage to lose Josie for a few minutes. I didn't get any pictures, but you can see some from a friend who posted about it on her blog.http://potatogirl-in-michigan.blogspot.com/2008/03/winter-walk.html.

Joshua has been really internalizing our "Statements of Faith" lately (see previous post--traditions--about our statements of faith). One day we discussed Mary Fielding Smith (about how brave she was crossing the plains by herself, how the leader of the group continually discouraged her and said she'd be a burden . . . but how she never gave up and always put faith in the Lord to help her through the hard parts of the journey). Our statement for the day was "I can be like Mary Fielding Smith and never give up". Later that day Joshua was practicing his juggling--two balls in one hand. Every time the balls fell he'd said, "I'm not giving up . . . I'm not giving up." And he didn't. It was very inspiring for me to hear. If he can do that at 4, I can be more determined and faithful.

Joshua is fascinated by Mormon lately. He loves the picture of Mormon in a cave filled with hundreds of records, reading them and abridging them. So Joshua created his own cave down stairs to be like Mormon. He has collected all of our copies of the Book of Mormon and Book of Mormon readers and stacked them in his cave. He has started to keep his own records. He makes his records by taking aluminum foil and carving letters with a chopstick - just like Mormon! Every time we tell him he is being just like Mormon, his big, brown eyes beam.

Eric goes to the temple Saturday mornings. His time in the temple has been a huge blessing for the whole family and has helped us feel connected to the family names he is going for. The strength Eric feels there is felt at home and helps us get through difficult days that lie ahead. There are days, though, when we miss Eric. Making temple trips a priority is a sacrifice for all of us, yet I know that we are blessed far more than the sacrifice involved. But on the mornings when Eric is missed, I sometimes struggle. And when I struggle, so do all the children. It was on one particular morning I felt like I needed to ask specifically that our home feel just like the temple. That the peace that Eric was feeling, would be felt at home now. In spite of a really rough start, the feeling of peace filled our home. And with that peace came a blessing of safety (during Isaac's fall), support (Joshua putting away Josie's clothes, and Josie doing Joshua dishes), and love (strangers at Trader Joe's and Meijer giving words of encouragement and offering help).

Last week Josie and Joshua were planning their weddings. Josie is feeling torn about who to marry (I think she's feeling like Joshua may not be the best choice - much to Joshua's dismay), and so she said, "I'm going to marry Papa." Joshua responded very seriously, "No, Papa is already married!" We all got a laugh from that.

Eric has really been amazing me lately. He always does, but lately he has really come through for all of us, especially me. Last month was a stressful one for him. One week in particular was filled with a lot going on at school as he tried to drop a class he was enrolled in, against professorial advice. Normally such a week would have really set us all back. Eric would have been stressed (all internal of course, but felt by us all), and we would have struggled to maintain optimism and the spirit. But Eric just plowed on through like it was nothing. He had this confidence and strength like I've never seen before. As a result, a potentially terrible week ended up being a great week. Ultimately, Eric said he felt complete confidence knowing he was doing the right thing, and that even though others around him thought differently, he knew he was living a righteous life and doing what was best for his schooling. Perhaps the greatest thing about this all is that Eric gives me that same complete and perfect confidence, even when I doubt my ability to accomplish anything. I see it in his eyes and feel what he says. Eric knows I can be the best person I can be, even though I constantly second guess myself. Now I just have to start believing him.

I had a similar feeling of confidence a few weeks ago. Wells Fargo Mortgage messed up on our payments . . . . again. This is the third or fourth time they've done this with our automatic withdrawals. And it is always a long process of making all these phone calls, and waiting on hold and more phone calls . . . . all right when we were really close to running out of money for the month. I normally would have let such a lame experience ruin the day. I would have been crabby and impatient with children and that would have spilled over to the next day. But something was different this time. Maybe it was seeing how well Eric handled the week before, or remembering our experiences when funds were tight over the summer. Whatever it was, I kept thinking, "We pay an honest tithe, we give generous fast offerings. There is no way the Lord can't bless us. . . . we'll always have enough." It really was that simple. And of course, the problem was solved quicker and easier than I thought it would be. I had never felt this kind of peace and comfort before--just because I knew I was keeping the commandments. It was a really powerful feeling. And once again I realized how much energy I've wasted in the past by worrying over things that always end up working themselves out on their own.

Eric is in the middle of his prelims right now. These are qualifying exams that determine if he can become a doctoral candidate. Over three consecutive weeks he is given a question and has 48 hours to respond with a 20 to 30-page paper. He is doing this on top of writing a scholarly paper of original research (another part of his prelims), teaching his night class, attending his own classes and keeping up with his other assignments . . . oh, and taking care of the five of us. It is quite the job, and he does it so incredible well. I know of no other father who, in spite of everything else he is trying to accomplish at school, still takes so much time for his family. Eric drives Josie to school every morning, hangings around longer on mornings I need him, and right during a prelim paper, stops everything to attend the Woods walk with us. Perhaps the most impressive thing about it all is that when he is with us, he is really with us. His mind isn't off somewhere else thinking about his paper, or wishing he were elsewhere. He is with us completely. And we sure love him for that.

Last week we talked about Christ's atonement during breakfast. I won't be able to really describe what a great experience it was for our family. All I can say is that it was a very important morning for all of us. Eric described Christ's sacrificial prayer in gethsemane and how he asked his apostles to stay awake and watch and pray, but they couldn't do it. We all felt very grateful that in spite of complete and total exhaustion, fatigue, and pain, Christ continued to pray until the atonement was complete. We felt sorrow that He had to do it alone, except for an angel to strengthen him, because Peter, James and John were too weak to stay awake. And we determined that we, as a family, would recommit ourselves to never cease to pray because of fatigue, remembering Christ's words, "What, could ye not watch with me one hour?" Josie was really taken by the story, we could see it in her eyes. And me, well, it was just what I needed (after recovering from a weeks worth of illnesses).

That is all . . . a month's worth of random moments and tender mercies we all want to remember.