Rituals, Routines and Traditions

Isaac (6 months now!) army crawled the whole length of the room today. Adam has started to rock back and forth on his hands and knees. It is a matter of days before they are really mobile and with this change came a flood of thoughts. No matter how hard I hold on, my children keep growing up--way too fast for my liking.

I was thinking about this while cleaning the toilet and this thought came to my mind. "You know, I probably will never hear, "Gee Mom, I really appreciate how clean the toilet was growing up." In fact, it will probably be decades before I have a grown child call for a favorite recipe or an expression of gratitude about how great and healthy their meals were growing up. Then I thought that, really, it seems like all my children ever see me do is cook, clean, wash, fold . . . . anything but play with them. I don't want them to grow up just to say, "Boy, my mom was great at cleaning." I want them to grow up to say, "My mom was great. . . . she played with me a lot!" Before I know it, Josie will be too old to "play" with me. And although I'll be so excited to get to met and know that grown up Josie, I sure want to cherish the small Josie I have now. So while thinking about this, I started to feel grateful for the routines, rituals and traditions we've created over the years.

Some of them are old, some of them are new, some of them I want to do better and some I want to start. But ultimately, these are the things that bind our family together, see us through the hard times and help me to slow down and remember to play:

1. Holidays and Birthdays. I haven't been too good about making these days really special. We keep things really low-key, and I like it like that, but I know there are little things I can do to make them even better. Birthday crowns, capes, and streamers during a favorite breakfast . . . . Thankful trees for Thanksgiving, cut out hearts (written with things we love about each other) posted all around the house for Valentines day and boxes made to collect valentines from each other during the month, Jack-o-lantern carving contest--scariest, funniest, silliest pumpkin, and the usual Christmas gingerbread houses, decorating cookies, acting out the nativity. So many ideas and fun things to do . . .

1. Everyday Stockings. I made these stockings a while ago--a new sock is added every year. Once a month--when the kids have been working really hard and doing really well--I'll fill the stockings up with something small and lay it on their beds. They get so excited to wake up to these. I fill them with things we needed anyway--new glue sticks, scissors, or crayons--but the smallness of goodies doesn't seem to matter. They just get so excited, maybe because it is a way they know they've been doing a really good job.





2. Family Dance. We did this all the time when Josie was little. We need to do it more-maybe twice a month-move all the furniture, and just let loose listening to the Gypsy Kings.


3. Movie Night. Friday night. Pizza, Popcorn and great flicks. Can't get better than that.


4. Fire Night. I explained about this in a previous post. It is a great night. Last week we decided to do a fire down stairs. Something was clogging the chimney and so in a matter of minutes the whole house was filled with smoke--everyone coughing and eyes burning. The kids still roasted marshmallows in their skimpies and just wore goggles to protect their eyes. It was a great site.
   
5. Game Night. Usually held on Saturday nights, we finally strayed away from Candy Land and played Perfection last week. Josie gets so anxious and nervous when the shapes are about to jump. It makes me laugh every time.
   
6. Journals. 4-5 times a week we gather around the table right before bed and write about our day. We write about something great that happened or how Heavenly Father helped us during the day. We usually take that time to follow up on our Statement of Faith (see # 9) and write about how we tried a little harder that day. It is a great way to hear about Josie and Joshua's day. They always seem so much more willing to talk right before bed time.
   
7. Sunday Letters. After our Sunday naps, we write letters to grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. We load the table with construction paper, glue, crayons, markers, and envelopes and spend an hour making great cards. I'm terrible about having stamps on hand and actually getting them mailed.
   
8. Saturday Family Work/Service. I just stared this a few months ago, and it seems to be going well. We all take time to work together to clean/organize something on Saturday morning. After a job-well-done, we usually head for an outing together. In the afternoons I want to start creating service for our family to do in the community. We'll see how that goes.
   
9. Statements of Faith. Every morning we pick a picture from the story box and retell a story from the Bible or Book of Mormon. Eric has this amazing way of telling the story in way that fills our home with the spirit. We then create a statement of faith. For example . . . "I can be like the Nephites and never stop praying." We then sign our name to it. We discuss how we did during journal time at the end of the day.
   
10. Sunday Dessert/Visits. I have friends who are really good at this, and I want to do better. These friends of mine are so good at inviting people into their homes for dinner or desserts, or who continually visit those in need. Regardless of how they might be feeling or the state of their home, they drop everything to help others. I know we can do much better with that and open our home more to those around us. In an effort to do that, I want to start making Sunday desserts and inviting others to join us, or visit someone to share the dessert with. We visited a sister in a home a few weeks ago and it was really great. The kids loved it and felt so good about making some one's day.


11. Letters. We've only done this a few times, but I really want to keep this up. We write Josie and Joshua letters that they get in the mail. In it they read about how great they are and how much we love them. We ask them if there is anything they want us to do better or anything that would make them happy. (Josie always wants an ice cream date, and Joshua to go to the dollar store). I figure when they are older, writing letters may be easier for them to ask us things or explain about things that might be difficult for them. I need to make it a habit now, so when their older they'll feel comfortable with it. I've been thinking about starting yearly Birthday letters--a letter written by us expressing our love, and how much they've grown the year before.
    
12. Late Nights. Whenever the time seems right (a couple times a year). Sometimes when Josie or Joshua have a hard time falling asleep, we let them stay up late with us. They LOVE this. To them, the whole world is asleep, including their siblings, and for the first time, it is just them and their parents. Just even 15 minutes makes them feel like they are the best and the most important thing around. Because after all, they really are.
    
13. Lunch Dates. Something I want to start doing monthly. Now that Josie's in school most of the day and Joshua will soon be in Kindergarten, I want to surprise them at school and take them out for a long lunch. Sure, their younger siblings will be tagging along, but I want them to feel that this is their time with me. They get to choose where to go, what to eat and for that time, let them know that they are the best kid ever . . .that they make me and Eric so happy. Maybe even give them an option of skipping school for the rest of the day. After all, it is just elementary school. School will be stressful enough in time, so why not just relish the little time they have before ditching school becomes a problem.
    
14. Interviews. I want to add this to our lunch dates. Eric does this really well when he takes Josie and Joshua on Papa dates. I want to tell them how much we love them, how great they are and tell them things they are really good at, maybe even set some goals in different areas in their lives, and perhaps most importantly ask them what I can do better. Of course, when Josie is licking a chocolate ice cream cone, everything is just fine.
    
15. 20 minute Mama play time. I've done this the past two days now and it makes a BIG difference. For a minimum of 20 minutes a day I want to play HARD with my kids downstairs--chase, wrestle, Ninjas, dodge-ball. Even just 10 minutes seems to make a world of difference. Josie and Joshua are happier, play better together, laugh harder, listen more easily and are much more patient with me. And for 20 minutes, I don't think about making dinner, cleaning the bathroom or doing laundry. The kids feel that and know there isn't anything else I'd rather be doing.
    
16. Clean 5. This has actually been a big help in keeping things clean. When things start to get messy, I'll shout, "Clean 5" and we stop what we are doing and pick up 5 things. Between all of us, that usually cuts down on the mess. So far, I haven't had any complaints.


17. Massages. We've only done this a couple of times, but man, are these massages relaxing for all of us. The kids have a warm bath and lay on our bed while we sing and massage their backs, legs and arms. Of course they fall asleep right away and sleep deeply on those nights.
    
18. Papa stories/Family History stories (usually on Fire Nights). Eric's stories are amazing. I swear, he'll be able to publish his children stories some day. The best part is that he creates these stories with Josie and Joshua--actually all of us--as characters. It is a mix of Bible stories, Book of Mormon stories, Lord of the Ring, Star Wars--all in one. We are all faced with opposition and fear and hear how we can overcome anything with our goodness and love. The kids LOVE this. I swear, just by hearing these made up stories, our children are more confident. They go to bed believing they can do anything. We also take time to share stories about their ancestors and extended family.
    

So after writing all this . . . . I've decided to stop all cleaning and just play. . . .