NAAPID Day!

Joshua picked this story for scripture time the other day. It ended up being the perfect story to help us get through a difficult day.

As Eric and I retold the story, it seemed clear that the message was really important for us. Eric mentioned how amazing it was that Peter was able to walk on the water, and that the only reason he began to sink was because he took his eyes off Jesus and started to fear. Now, how amazing is that? To be able to do the impossible and walk on water, just by looking at and believing in Jesus!

So in light of everything Eric is going through (with pre-lims, exams, papers, and trying to drop a non-required class . . .) and with the busy day in front of me, Eric and I determined we would do the same as Peter -- to picture Christ in our minds, reaching out to us and not falling. Little did I realize how difficult it would be.

So, it was NAAPID day at Dicken. Josie had been talking about it all week and was excited to have me be there during the day. So, in spite of twins and a toddler, I planned on being there as much as I could. Here is how the day looked:

Take Josie to school

Make sure the boys have a clean diaper and are fed

Stay with Josie for Music class and then the assembly (2 1/2 hours carrying twins in the sling)

Run to pick up Joshua at preschool

Go back home and make two lunches for Joshua and Josie

Feed the boys

Change more diapers

Go back to Dicken and eat lunch with Josie, Joshua and her friends

Stay for recess (having 20 children mal Adam and Isaac and take turns holding them)

Run home to have Joshua take a nap

Feed boys again and try to get them to sleep

Wake up all three sleepy boys to head back to Dicken to hear Josie's book report

Go home and tackle homework

Cook dinner

Bath children

Journal time

Bed

So right around 5 pm, Adam and Isaac lost it. Really lost it. They were so tired from all this running around, had only slept in 15 min. increments for maybe an hour during the day, so they cried and cried and cried. Right around 6:00 pm I begin to lose it. I was so exhausted and tired and drained (not to mention the 4 hours of sleep I got the night before). It was then I remembered Peter. To help keep focused, I began praying aloud while holding a screaming baby and trying to cook dinner, all while Josie and Joshua keep asking me, "Mom, who are you talking too?". Amazingly enough, I was still in good spirits. So I called a neighbor to come over and hold Isaac while I held Adam and tried to get Josie and Joshua to bed. But when Jane showed up, I forgot about Peter, forgot about praying aloud (I didn't want her to think I was some religious freak), and even though Eric came home within 15 minutes, the burden of the day weighed on me and I felt myself sinking fast. It was all too much--the crying, the running, the baby holding, the lack of sleep. It was then I realized that I felt overwhelmed when I lost my focus. The second I forgot about looking to Christ, I fell.

A lot of important things were learned. When my focus is clear and my eyes are set, I can really do anything and everything I need to do. It was an important day for Josie as well. I could tell it was important for her to know I was there as she kept turning around to smile and wave and wink and show everyone her babies. She even voluntarily participated in the assembly and presented her book report so well. To think just a year ago she was too shy to even sing in primary!

There were also things that were good for me to realize. At school I saw that Josie doesn't really have anyone there who loves her as much as Eric and I do. That there is no one there to hug her and tell her how beautiful and wonderful she is. While homeschooling I took this granted. I could mess up and be mean, but I knew I had the rest of the day to make it up to her. To hug her and lover her as much as I could. Now, if I mess up, I don't have that time.

I noticed other things at school. Being in first grade, her and her friends are still trying to figure things out, and even though she has all these friends, they all eat separately, don't wait for each other . . . almost like a free-for-all. I guess they'll figure it all out soon enough. I just need to learn to let go and stop worrying.