Saturday is a Special Day . . .

. . . . It's the day we get ready for Sunday. . . . You know how the song goes.

Well, I have a confession to make. For the past few weeks, right around Friday, I tell Eric I'm not going to church and have decided to stay home with the twins. It's not that I don't like church. In all honesty, I have never been in such a great ward. But here is my rational--I have only taken one Sunday "off" since having the twins and I figured I still could take another two. And it is the only time I don't feel like I am inconveniencing anyone by taking a little time for myself. Eric takes Josie and Joshua out frequently, but it usually falls on days that I'm trying to get dinner made, or the house cleaned, or the million other things I need to do. But every week, right around Saturday evening, I start planning what I'm going to do with the three hours to myself, I start to hear this little voice say "You are going to church tomorrow. You are supposed to be there." I ignore it for a while, until, by Sunday morning I realize I've got to go. And every Sunday, I come home with a very specific reason of why I needed to be there. Last Sunday was no different.

Andrea made a comment in RS that really hit me. She mentioned that her father showered her with love and always made her feel special. And that the few times he needed to correct her or offer suggestions, she always listened because she knew she was loved by him. So, no wonder Joshua has been having such a hard time listening to me this week. I think the only thing that boy has heard all week is, "Stop getting off your chair! . . . .Just finish eating! . . . . Talk nicely! Use your words! . . . . Go sit on the toilet for time out! . . . . Be careful with the babies! . . . . " Poor boy has had such a hard week, because of me. And all along I was acting like he was just doing it to spite me.

Alane followed Andrea's comment by saying that there are people in the world who have never been loved and can not comprehend what love, even from Heavenly Father, would feel like. That we need to seek out those people and offer our love. Now, I have to preface this by saying that Alane loves our children. She adores them and shows them so much love when she sees them. And although I know that Josie and Joshua know I love them, when Alane made that comment, I realized how grateful I am for all the Alane's in the world. All the people who have showed and offered their love to my children, when I couldn't or wouldn't because of anger or fear. Thank goodness for the days that when I was far less loving, Eric came home to hug them and kiss them. For all the kind strangers we meet in public who take the time to tell Josie and Joshua how helpful they are and how beautiful they are.

So, yet again, I am glad I went to church. Maybe tomorrow I won't start talking about staying home this week.